Forgotten
by honeydewslush
Summary: "It was a mistake." Months before this moment, he was happy. Happy that he lived in the same castle with this girl and his squad. Happy that he gets to kiss her whenever he wanted, when no one was looking... (It was a mistake...) Yeah, right. Pathetic.


**Forgotten.**

For shits and giggles.

* * *

"It was a mistake."

Months before this moment, he was happy. Happy that he lived in the same castle with this girl and his squad. Happy that he gets to kiss her whenever he wanted, when no one was looking. Happy that he gets to see a side of her no one else had; the sight of her face flushed with embarrassment or shyness when she tell him she cares for him or she loves him as he says the same things to her.

_It was a mistake_.

Yeah, right. Pathetic.

Worse thing was, she accepted it. Not a single change of emotion on her face from the moment she entered his room. She stood in front of his desk, her eyes apathetic as usual, nodding as he said those words. She did not cry, she did not beg or plead for him to change his mind.

"Yes, Corporal."

No, not Levi anymore. Never Levi.

Gritting his teeth as he continued to spit out lies, "I'm glad we understand each other." Inside, he was fighting a war: he resisted the urge to grab her scarf, kiss her senselessly as he once did, and beg her to forgive him, for hurting her, for lying to her. He wanted … so much… to tell her it was a lie, that it was to protect her.

His feelings for her scared him. He realized this when she had gotten injured two week ago, unconscious, blood all over her face and body. The sight of her, so close to death, was a wake up call to his feelings. His feelings got in the way of his duty, and love and war cannot coexist. You have to give up one or the other.

He gave up his love.

Over the next few weeks, she seemed to forget about it. Only a selected few knew the relationship between Mikasa and Levi, and no one knew about what conspired between the two. But Hanji and Armin were getting suspicious that something _did_ happen.

Levi was walking down the hall as he heard Hanji question Mikasa on her current status with the Corporal. He saw as Mikasa quietly replied, "The Corporal and I have nothing going on. We are merely comrades fighting the same war, Hanji. Nothing more, nothing less."

He couldn't deny the pain. Her words had hurt, more than he thought it would. The thought that he and her was forgettable.

Yeah, he was the one who initiated the break up… but it wasn't fair; her acting like _they_ never existed.

He felt like a spoiled brat; as if he personally threw away one of his precious toys and demands to have it back. Nothing changed between their relationship as they went on the battlefield, she wasn't emotionally compromised and she still followed his orders without fail.

But when he realized that he made a mistake letting her go, he wanted her back.

* * *

Two years later, Mikasa Ackerman was stunning. Breathtaking. Gorgeous.

Her black hair, longer, reaching the middle of her back and delicately curled at the tips. Her figure, more feminine, yet toned: the body of a mature woman. She was beautiful and happy, he never thought he'd see her smile at other people other than Eren's, Armin's, or _his _company. She was stronger, deadlier in the battlefield than ever before. She had surpassed him and the Legion's expectations; she was now his absolute equal in the battlefield.

She was beautiful and his longing for her was so strong. He would watch her train with the other squad members. He doesn't miss the look of lust and desire from the newer recruits, her toned abs and erotic figure as she sweats… his thought would run that he would be having _that_ every night if they had stayed together.

He never knew how he survived within those two years. Whenever he engaged a short conversation with her (an excuse just to be close to her, to see her eyes, her face, and hear her voice), it held nothing but respect between superior and subordinate. There was no hint of anger or sadness from her and he wanted to see those emotions. Because the moment he sees evidence that she still feels something for him… he would go on his knees and beg her to take him back.

Sometimes she would smile at him and his heart would skip a beat, but it was out of friendship and concern.

The following months, however, she began to change.

She was still reliable and trusting whenever they had missions or ventured out the walls. But there were times where she seemed… vacant, as if she had forgotten something.

He noticed this, when she didn't follow a particular order.

The Scouting Legion was within the Forest of Giant Trees again, Commander Erwin planned to situate an outside base here. They would have an expedition every 4 months in order to keep building and maintaining the base. They were supposed to meet at a rendezvous point after 3 hours, and if there was any problem, they were supposed to fire a yellow smoke.

Every member of the squad was there, except for her. And there was no smoke signal.

Never one to fail his orders, his thoughts went into panic and he ordered the rest of the squad to find Mikasa.

It turned out she was simply helping the other corps members chop wood from the trees.

He was furious that she had disobeyed a clear, direct order from him. He gave him a piece of her mind, letting out unnecessary frustration that had been building up for years, saying that she was lucky this wasn't during a dangerous mission or she would have been Titan meat.

Mikasa just stared at him in confusion, asking why he was mad at her and saying that she doesn't recall receiving orders from him.

The squad members looked at her in surprise.

The next time he noticed was when she couldn't remember the short message Hanji told her to give to him. She stood in front of him, mumbling to herself and said that she had forgotten the message. And then, she didn't follow one of his orders again; claiming that she didn't remember.

Then, she couldn't remember _his_ name.

"C-Corporal…" Mikasa's face held confusion and vulnerability. A look that he hadn't seen in years. "I… I don't know… I don't remember… your name…"

He thought she was playing some cruel joke.

He watched her during training, her moves still flawless in the way she handled herself. But she was more hesitant to talking to her comrades, to Eren, Armin, Jean, Connie, Sasha, and Krista… it was as if she was talking to a stranger; timid and uncertain.

Later, he found out that she went to Hanji for help; claiming that she couldn't remember any of their names.

He went to her room that night, demanding what she meant. This was Mikasa Ackerman, selfless and puts others before herself. Surely she should remember the names of the people she cared about; even if he wasn't a part of it anymore.

He had never seen her so scared.

"W-Who are you?" she panicked, standing up from her bed. "What do you want from me?"

"It's me!" he desperately clutched her bare shoulders. Touching her after so long… "Levi! Don't you remember?"

"I-" Tears started to form in her gray eyes. "I'm sorry, I don't- I don't know you!"

He dragged her to Hanji's room, holding her by the wrist. He wanted to know what was wrong with her; if she was continuing to play this sick joke. However, he knew Mikasa as a person who would never joke around, let alone cry in front of him.

Levi sat outside Hanji's office, sitting on the stone floor, back against the wall, his head clutched between his hands.

He never meant for it to go this far.

He could hear Mikasa's sobs and sniffles from inside. _Just what the hell is going on in there?_ He was anxious to know what had caused her to be like this… like a damaged, broken doll.

Hanji opened the door, her face holding a grim expression, and the words she said broke his heart.

"She's sick."

Hanji claimed she did not know what, but whatever it was: it was affecting her memory, causing her to forget.

"Mikasa said that she feels strange next to you," she continued, looking at Levi in suspicion. "She feels happy yet sad at the same time. Then she would feel pain in her chest… she told me she spent some of her nights crying to sleep and she didn't know why… Did you do something, Levi?"

He shoved her out of the way and entered the room. Mikasa looked up at his form, still crying, and quietly gave a whimper of surprise when he suddenly hugged her. He couldn't help but think it was his fault; that maybe he had hurt her so deep that it caused this mess.

"Shit," he muttered, pressing his face against her hair. "This wasn't supposed to happen."

Mikasa responded by leaning against him, feeling a strange yet familiar comfort within his arms.

* * *

Mikasa was taken off his squad; she was a liability when she could not remember orders. Within the next few months, Hanji was assigned as Mikasa's personal psychiatric dependent. The news shocked the Scouting Legion, and it definitely shocked the squad.

Eren sat beside the bed, clutching a pale hand. Armin watched Mikasa's sleeping form, sedated by Hanji, and sadly murmured, "I had my suspicions… she couldn't remember my name."

Jean and Connie had their hands clenched to a fist, while Sasha and Krista's whimpers are heard from the back.

* * *

"It must be so hard."

Stopping the bottle from reaching his lips, he turned to see Hanji, leaning against the frame of his door, a sad smile on her face.

"… That you're in love with a girl that doesn't remember the times you spent together," she continued, watching him gulp down the alcohol. "I honestly don't blame you."

"Then who is to blame?" Levi murmured, glancing at the orange sunset outside his window.

"You can blame the Titans or just science itself… but this isn'tx your fault."

"Four words…" _It was a mistake_. "Do you think words are enough to break someone's mind?"

"It would depend on those four words."

That night, he went to Mikasa's room and saw her awake. She was sitting on her bed, wearing a pale nightgown that matched her skin. Her long dark hair disheveled from her sleep. She stared out the window, the moonlight shining through her figure, a look of loneliness on her face.

"Mikasa."

She turned her head and saw the man's figure.

She gave him a delicate smile, as she called out his name.

"Levi."

* * *

Mikasa had her head curled at his chest, snoring quietly and adoringly. Levi watched her sleeping form, delicately playing with a strand of hair.

_She doesn't remember what we used to be… but she does remember _me_. And I'll give her that. I won't make the same mistake again… maybe this was what she wanted, to forget the pain and start anew. She was always the selfless one, while I was the selfish one. If she wants me back, then I'll let her take all of me. _

* * *

Gah, I just had to. I feel so bad for Levi

Thank you so much for your support, you are currently charging me with freaking energy and I can't seem to stop writing! Haha, seriously, thank you so much! :D


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